A valentine for the lonely

Are you an introvert? Are you struggling to find where you belong? Are you lonely?

I thought I was an extrovert until I went to Antarctica where you live, work and shit in the same breathing space and I realized I wasn’t. I mean, I LOVE people. They fill my bucket, I want to be with them, I love having fun in groups AND I also really love my alone time. Two things can be true at once.

As we age it can be hard to make friends or find a friend group. I spent a lot of time alone this winter since I had to come home with a broken ankle and Andrew stayed to work in Antarctica. I love being alone. And, it can be very hard to be alone.

One night I was thinking about how I don’t have a lot of people I hang out with on a weekly basis that aren’t my husband ya know, and we don’t even have kids. And this comes to mind a lot bc I live in a town with a bunch of great folks and sometimes I think, ok is there something wrong with me? Why don’t I see friends more often? (Spoiler: It’s bc I don’t try enough, which I’m working on) Where do I belong? Where do I belong when/if my husband isn’t around? Or when my very close friend is out of town?

And finally this thought came to mind: I belong with me. I’ve got me. I like myself and I’m learning to accept all my bits. Even the bits I have previously hated.

My valentine to you is the hope that you remember that you belong to you alone and more than that, you belong WITH you.

When your friends or family are gone or lost, I hope this brings comfort.

Yes, as human beings we need friends, we need and crave connection, but I hope you’ve made peace with yourself enough to feel calm and at home when everything else goes quiet.  I hope you’ve nurtured and forgiven and started to like and accept all of the parts of yourself so that when the quiet comes, you remember “I got me.”

P.S. Please seek help and community if you need it. You are not alone.